working for peanuts

Bar work in London is one of the most underpaid jobs. Ever. I doubt it even reaches the average wage. You earn 6 quid an hour and some of it is taxed. On top of that, the English are crap tippers. In a bar where business men earning over 100k a year frequent, it was surprising to experience such tightness. Even Aussies are looser!

I worked at a pub called the Adam and Eve on the edge of Soho. It’s is often referred to  as the Adam and Steve because after 7pm, the small fraction of women present after work all disappear and it becomes a sausage fest of drunk business men eager to find someone to share a bed with. Seedy.

Here, most suited up customers will wait for their 2p change and they certainly aren't afraid to tell you to top their pint up if the tides out. It's not that I was short, it's that they’ve fumbled around with their order so much the head has gone down. Just to spite them, I would top it up so full that they'd struggle to walk through the crowd without spilling it on themselves. Haha. You have to keep yourself entertained somehow! 

If dealing with tight a-holes isn’t enough, people really don’t know how to place a drink order in London.  Its common sense to group like drinks together and in the order of preparation time/standing nature; Guinness first, it takes time to settle. Then wine and then spirits. And lastly, lager (wouldn’t want that head to go flat). If you want speedy efficient service, place a speedy efficient order. It’s as simple as that. Come up to the bar knowing what you want, not:

“Uhhhhh hi. Um can I have…um uhhhh a large rose, a rum and coke, actually make that two large roses, and 3 pints of peroni, and a becks, a doombar, 2 aspall, a small glass of house red….…

Um, wait I know there’s more just make that and I’ll come back….…. 

Ok so another 2 peronis, a vodka lime soda, a gin and slimline tonic and a gin and soda…… 

What the hell, I may as well gets some shots while I’m here, 10 jagerbombs!… 

Oh and I almost forgot, 2 Guinness….can I split that on two cards?

There’s nothing worse than someone ordering for a large group having to double check the order, especially when the pub is rammed ten deep and you can hardly hear. Sometimes people will even have the nerve to say you got the order wrong when they’re half cut. If I got it wrong I’d admit it, but if I didn’t there’s no way I’m apologising for their lame ordering skills and the obvious effects of intoxication on their memory.

Wow. This post makes me seem really harsh but only the other bar staff would know the drag of going in everyday! Haha, good times!